Keeping a venting journal is a unique way to express our emotions and negative feelings. But, is it a good idea? Could it put us in a negative spiral?
Let’s talk about it.
What is a venting journal
A venting journal is a notebook, journal or even an app that can be used to explore difficult feelings and emotions in an honest way. We can write about grief, pain, anxiety, fear, anger, jealousy and more without feeling judged or dismissed.
Call it a rage journal if you want! It’s all about getting those ill feelings out of your body.
Why a venting journal is a good idea
Get it all out
Writing out negative feelings can potentially stop our mind from racing. Or at least slow it down. And that can slow down the awful cycle of ruminating and overthinking.
I know when I ruminate, it feels like playing terrible reels on repeat that won’t stop. And when I’m wearing a fitness watch, it actually vibrates (more like zaps me) because my heart rate spikes. I literally have a physical reaction to racing thoughts.
Here’s where vent journaling helps me. It acts like record keeping so I don’t have to remember all the details of my thoughts. I can clear my brain’s internal hard drive.
And that feels so cathartic and light.
Find the patterns
Over time, as we dig deeper, we’ll start seeing patterns in situations and behavior. It may not happen right away but the patterns will get clearer and more obvious.
We’ll begin to notice who and what gives us the warm fuzzies and fills our cup. We’ll also see who drains our energy. Journaling helps us pay more attention to our body and its amazing intuition.
We’ll also start seeing cognitive biases, distortions, unhelpful learned behavior and what triggers us. The self-exploration into “the why” can take us into a rabbit hole of facing the past and healing from it.
It can be a difficult but beautiful experience and we’ll all be better for it.
See the other side
While venting, there’s room to look at different perspectives. It’s not an easy thing to do. But, it can help us see if we made assumptions that may not be accurate.
What if we assumed someone did something intentionally to hurt us, but they did it to help? Or didn’t even think about us in their decision?
It can get tricky here and we can end up unintentionally gaslighting ourselves. So, it’s important to give yourself a lot of grace, self-compassion and validation.
Make a plan and test it
With all the self exploration within the venting journal, solutions will start jumping out. We’ll start seeing ways to solve the issues and make the situation a whole lot better.
Not everything we try will work and that’s okay. Life is all about experimenting anyway! But, trying something to help our peace is always a good thing in my book. It doesn’t have to be action-based, radical acceptance and forgiveness are great too!
Here’s a situation that happened recently.
I have new awful, loud neighbors and I’m sensitive to noise. I could have a conversation with them that could go really well or really poorly. AND I could work on protecting my peace in my home.
That led me to finding brown noise (highly recommend btw) and healing frequencies. Noise canceling earbuds, great audiobooks and podcasts were my new favorite things. I also found sound proofing materials (curtains, foam) to reduce the noise coming into the home.
And you know what happened? The conversation with the neighbors turned out okay! I stood my ground while being kind and didn’t accept their entitlement to disturb others. Yay me! And they actually reduced their noise levels!
I also did the other stuff too. Incorporating healing frequencies and audiobooks are fun parts of my every day. I call it my multi-tiered approach to dealing with loudies.
All of it came from venting about it!
Too much negativity sucks
Why keep a separate journal for venting? For me, reading back my rants on paper can be quite jarring when I feel calm and regulated. So, having it in a different space from where I write about gratitude and positivity is helpful for me.
Of course, you can do it differently. In your journal, you can add disclaimers or use colored pens, washi tape and stickers for the rage pages. Or you can rip them out and burn the paper!
I’ve done that too! It feels so good!
Protect your friends’ energy
Venting to our friends is always helpful when we’re navigating tough times. They can give great insights, different points of view, and helpful tips.
Some friends though can be judgmental, dismissive and shaming (are they really friends?). Some may even find us annoying. And some are such beautiful empaths that they would absorb our feelings and be ready to ride at dawn.
That’s where a venting journal can help so they’re not over-exposed to our negative emotions. And we’re not exposed to their own biases. I’m sure they love us and would want us to share, but we love them too!
When a venting journal isn’t a good thing
When negative emotions take the lead during our day, they can leave us feeling stuck and affect our quality of life.
Remember I mentioned my heart rate spiking when I ruminated? Research shows heart rates stay elevated long after you express negative emotions. This can stress your nervous system and affect your physical health.
Thinking and writing about difficulties constantly can make us relive the painful memories too. And that can make the pain more intense, leading to possible anxiety and depression.
You know the saying neurons that fire together, wire together? That’s neuroplasticity for you! The more we rage, the more likely those neural pathways will form and the harder it’ll be to unlearn that behavior. So, we’ll likely get more angry instead of less angry.
A 2013 study on rant websites found those who ranted online felt better immediately. But, over time, they also felt more and more anger and expressed it in unhealthy ways. These included drug abuse, self harm, physical and verbal fights, and dangerous driving.
What to do when it’s bad
So, if you feel like you need the venting journal everyday, maybe it’s time to reach out to a professional. Resolving the negative emotions and helping you feel happier are the goals here.
And you deserve to be happy!
You can also set timers to allow your mind to vent and rage for 10 or 15 minutes on a page. After that, do something fun that brings you joy. In that way, you are free to express but not staying in that angry space.
I did this a couple times – gave myself full permission to get negative for 10 minutes a day before I watched a funny video. You know what happened? After a while, after problem solving and trying different techniques, I didn’t need the time anymore. Not even a minute. I felt resolved or at least regulated enough with the issue I was having. And that’s usually the case once you give yourself your own self compassion and empathy.
Different ways to journal
A vent journal doesn’t have to be a traditional notebook. It can be loose pages or our notes app or even voice notes.
We can tear up the pages or burn them or simply click delete.
I’ve always found benefit in burning rage pages. Saying a quick prayer, watching the flames, and seeing the smoke disappear feels so freeing in a way I can’t explain. It’s so cathartic.
Venting journal prompts
If you feel comfortable with using a venting journal, here are some questions to answer:
- What’s bothering you right now?
- What happened recently that completely changed your mood from happy to upset?
- Who makes you feel drained while you’re talking to them?
- What doesn’t feel right about ….
- I’m not proud of how I handled …
- Using the feelings wheel, describe how you feel about a tough situation. Explore why.
- What do you wish was different?
- Draw your emotions today. Doodle or scribble – go wild.
- List your triggers.
- Is there anything you need to brain dump to get out of your system?
I truly hope you found inspiration in this discussion on venting journals. Take whatever ideas that you think would help. Try the venting journal prompts and give yourself lots of grace and kindness.
Embrace the sweet kind life.
If you want to explore more general journaling, then stop by these journal prompts for beginners. They’re light and fun!
